Creative Leadership

What’s The Secret That’s Holding You Back?

I’m on the road this week, and yesterday, while pulling out of my hotel parking lot for a dinner meeting, I watched a man dressed in workout clothes open his car trunk. Looking around to see if anyone was watching, he quietly pulled a quart bottle of vodka out of the trunk and began filling his water bottle.

I’ll let you guess what was or wasn’t going on, but my first thought is that he has some type of secret and chances are, it’s holding him back. Maybe he wants his wife or friends to think he’s actually working out instead of drinking. Maybe he’s on the road and doesn’t want his associates or client to see his alcohol problem.

Either way, it made me realize that many of us carry secrets that are holding us back with our career, our relationships, and our future. Like the guy in the parking lot, your secret may be hiding alcohol, or perhaps it’s keeping your spouse from discovering the emotional relationship you’re developing with a co-worker. Maybe it’s the money you “borrowed” from the office account, the lies you inserted into your latest company report to make you look better, or the online porn sites you check when you’re alone.

Think about it. Big or small, most of us carry secrets, and the emotional energy we’re spending keeping those secrets is taking a toll on your attitude, your performance, and your life.

Whatever it is, isn’t it time to let it go?

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4 Comments

  1. This is really interesting! Hiding in our shame makes us feel protected when actually, we are already exposed. Been there, done that.

    Unrelated to this, but somehow connected is a conversation I had yesterday with a priest (and his wife) who was instrumental in my spiritual development when I first became a follower of Jesus. He is now 85 and in a nursing home and as I was only a 4 hour drive away, I traveled yesterday for a hug and a visit as his mind is slowly slipping away. I asked him about what he has been learning lately and he responded that death has been the subject of conversation between he and the Lord. He said, “Your reality in life, Danielle, IS your reality in death.” We spoke on this for over an hour as he unpacked it for me to take away and ponder.

    I wonder how we become people who let go of our realities – How we perceive things to be- and grab onto the reality of death – How WE really are in God- so that others can do the same. Father said that when we move toward this, then we are ready for God to take us to the heart of the matter to see what propels us in our inner man. Only then are we engaged in such a way that Jesus is our only defense.

    Needless to say, Father Rogers left me with a lot to ponder.

    1. Great comment Danielle. I also caught two other important things from your post: 1) Thanks for visiting your priest. We all need to do a better job of spending time with those elderly and shut-in who are desperate to connect with people. 2) You’re exactly right about shame. Far too many people today thrive on being a “victim” because it gives them an identity – even though it’s painful. We always need to realize that being a full time victim isn’t the path to wholeness. Thanks so much for posting!

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