Christian Media

Order the New Prophet’s Special Soap!

One of our alert readers found an entire section of “Master Prophet” Bernard Jordan’s website dedicated to selling special “prophetic” soap. You’ve got to check this out. You’ll never wash the same way again.

Here’s the way he describes it: “Blended by His Grace, Bishop E. Bernard Jordan, these soaps will cause you to experience the prophetic in a way you would never expect. Click on the various products to see what you’re missing!”

Hallelujah!

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10 Comments

  1. This is awesome, just in time for Tele-thon season. If only I could get some Prophet's H Hemroidal Cream, I could clear up all these symptoms.

    Jesus could have really cleaned up while on the earth if he'd only had better marketing.
    VIP tables for the feeding of the 5000
    Touch the Hem of My Tee Shirt's
    WWID? Braclets
    and of Course the "Son of God Hotline" where for $3500 you get His Cell Phone Number and a personal miracle.
  2. So I read the post and had to share it with my wife and what she said just made me think Lord please help this guy…

    Ok I know my wife is not the judge and the jury but in her words "I think that guy is going to rot in Hell"

  3. I didn't realize the prophetic power in soap, but after reading this I took a shower with my good old Irish Spring. Having been sensitized to the possibility of a revelatory experience (I'm sure the probability is higher with Prophetic Soap), I had a vision.

    In this showerly vision I was told that each person that reads this comment is to send me $1,000 and they will be blessed beyond their wildest dreams. I mean way beyond your wildest freaking dreams. To show I am not in it for the money, I plan to tithe 10% back to Pastor Phil. (But only after funds clear).

    If you don't send the money, then you will be cursed. Sorry, but that's what was spoken to me in the shower.

    Tomorrow morning, I'm going to test my new prophetic shaving cream. I'll let you know what you're supposed to do next.

  4. Ok, this guy has lost it. I think all the jokes are funny, trust me i really do, but beyond the joking what can actually be done? He is one of many…..he may be one of the most extreme one i have seen yet, but there are many more with the same motives as he has.

    The worst part is that it is guys like this that make people have a bad taste for all Christain TV.

    I love the jokes and we need to keep joking about it because sometimes that is the only way to hear about a guy like this and not want to go crazy on him. But, while at the same time we are joking, we need to be trying to figure out a way to take guys like this out of play.

    In the words of the band Muse "the time has come to make things right, you and i must fight for our life"

    If we want to get rid of this crap off Christain TV, we are going to have to fight to get it done. Not physically fight, but there are many other ways to fight.

    Dan Meyer – CEO – Joyce Meyer Ministries

  5. Dan has a good point. Without creating more “self-appointed” watchdogs of non-profits and ministries, how do we deal with the more sleazy elements out there?

  6. Well, I do think joking about the absurdity of it is a good place to start. I mean, the line of prophetic hygiene products is endless.

    The problem is that there are a lot of people out there who actually will buy this soap and believe in its spiritual powers. Without a market, guys like this would not be able to afford the cost of television. It's part of the dark side that comes from religious freedom, freedom of speech, and capitalism. With the good, there are abuses.

    A wise person (maybe it was Phil) said that it is better to light a light than to curse the darkness. I know the media loves to take examples like prophetic soap and lather up every minister on TV. But if we could get enough really good programming on the air, maybe we could squeeze the sleaze into the smallest, darkest corner possible.

    As long as there is a gullible market niche, there will always be shysters there to reap their sordid gain.

    Do what you can do. Do some good stuff. Some really good stuff. Create authentic programming that delivers genuine help. Make the torch brighter. Then hand it off to those who follow.

    There's a bad snow storm here tonight. I'm going to throw another prophetic log on the fire. Then stare at the flame.

     

     

  7. If somehow Christendom could get away from the formulas of what makes Christianity work, and makes Christian TV what it is (which is generally preachy and icky), then perhaps it would become more about what is true and right then the almighty dollar or the quick fix.  Then, perhaps, people would really be set free.

    Jesus told stories to teach the people.  Surely there's a clue there that tells us something about what would work in terms of reaching the hearts of people.   What if we started there?  What if we quit preaching to the choir, and tickling ears, and tried to speak to hearts?  If so much truth were out there, there'd be no place for charlatans.

  8. I put this quack in the same category as sorcerors, witches, psychics and soap opera stars.

    I WILL say that Christianity isn't the only place to find such nonsense. Anyone ever listen to those late-night radio programs about the earth being just another alien experiment that will probably be terminated at any moment? How about Animal Planet's Pet Psychic show? Ever heard of Tom Cruise? Like I said, it's not just in Christianity.  

    But wouldn't it be great for Satan if he could make us all out to look like quacks! Come to think of it, Paul the apostle had a girl following him around screaming, "These are the servants of God telling you how to be saved!" Satan tried to discredit Paul's ministry through this demon-possessed girl, but Paul dealt with the problem and it ended up becoming a testimony. Maybe somebody just needs to go lay hands on Master Prophet Jordan…any volunteers?  

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