When It’s Not Nice to Be Nice

I like to be nice. At the very least we should always be gracious. But I also discovered that many people I’m nice to aren’t nice back. So I learned to be strong as well as being nice. Trying to keep everyone around you happy is an exercise in futility. It’s like juggling too many balls. Your job isn’t to make everyone happy. Your job is to be you. Not the “you” people necessarily want you to be – but the “you” that you really are. The genuine thing. It’s not about being selfish or rude. It’s about not being a doormat. You are important to God. You have value. You matter. Be nice, but be strong.

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  1. This is SO TRUE. 

    We have by default created in Christendom “a culture of terminal niceness.”  It not only lacks substance, it clearly misrepresents our faith.  Ask the guys who were thrown out of the temple how nice Jesus was.  Ask the Pharisees who He called out as “blind guides and hypocrites” how appropriate His approach and language were in light of their “respected” position in New Testament Jewish culture.  Did the prophets and apostles do parties, network, do conferences?  I don’t think so!

    The Gospel by nature is assertive, confrontational and disruptive.  It is genuinely counter cultural and the only way to truly experience it is to be what God has created us to be.  Meekness is not weakness and group thinking “nice” Christians do great harm by diminishing the bright light within.

    Great post Phil!!  Go out today and yell at someone!!

  2. Phil, this is such a good issue to address.  Many people think Christians should be doormats and never be assertive.  Being nice is mistaken for being weak.  Trying to keep EVERYONE happy IS an excercise in futility… but God calls us to ge genuine before him and others and wants us to press forward in the things we’ve been called to do, helping others along the way.    Allen Paul Weaver III Author, Transition: Breaking Through the Barriers and Speedsuit Powers (Dec 2009) http://www.APW3.com

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