CreativityStrategy & Marketing

Why Influencing Real People Is More Important Than Getting Likes

In the rush to grow your social media influence, don’t forget that influencing the people you meet every day is far more helpful and important to your life and career. I’d rather have 10 people who really care about my message and ideas than 10,000 who just click a “Like” button. To that end, here’s some key things to remember about extending your influence to the people you meet everyday:

1. Put down the mobile device and actually be in the moment.  The most valuable commodity of the 21st century will be undivided attention. But most settle for what’s been called “continuous partial attention.” Conversations happen around glancing at email, texting a quick note, or glancing at your Twitter feed. Next time you meet someone for coffee try this: Give them your full attention, and see what difference it makes.

2. Have something to contribute to the conversation.  What are you reading? What significant movies have you watched lately? Been to a museum in the last year? Be the type of person others want to be around because your interests are so fascinating. Remember the “Garbage in, garbage out” rule? If all you’re consuming is People magazine or other people’s Facebook updates, chances are, your conversation will be less than insightful.

3. Learn to listen.  No matter how fascinating you may be, the best influencers are great listeners. Conversation is about listening – not just thinking of next thing you want to say.

4. Finally, seek out opportunities for real, face to face contact.  You’ll actually find that most people are starving for real contact. Invite people for coffee. Have them drop by your place after work. Invite them to lunch. You’ll be grateful you did.

Becoming an influencer in the culture, starts with influencing the people around you.  Why wait?  Start today…

Do you have any other good tips for influencing people you meet everyday?


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  1. I am not on social media except the blog Phil. I have chosen to not be. My time is valuable enough and i spend enough time behind a computer without going home and feeling tied to it. I realize it can become an addiction to me so I choose to stay away. However, I still need to be in the moment (because I still have a phone.

  2. Really profound Phil,i think sometimes we get sooo comfortable with seeing the multitude of Likes & end there, yet there will be a thousand other facebook posts competing with whatever you are sharing..The reality is people will click like,get distracted by another post then forget….
    I agree so much with the face to face – it really goes a long way and its also practical.

    My desire is to have a cup of coffee with you one day Phil despite the distance!!!!

  3. These are some valuable tips Phil. I will do better at employing! A great tip (one that I am working on all the time) is remembering names! We often reduce people to a profile and pic online so much that we forget they are real people with real names. A key component of listening and being engaged. Also, we can learn to find out more about who people are and not just what they do.

    1. Great reminder about names. I think it was Dale Carnegie who said that a person’s name is the sweetest sound they ever hear. Calling people by name really does help you connect.

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