The Secret to Being the Most Interesting Person in the Room

It’s simple: just stop talking. That’s right, stop talking. Most of us want desperately to be heard. We want to tell our story, and mistakenly think that’s the best way to get people to like us. We hope to impress them with our insight. But here’s the open secret to becoming everyone’s best friend:

Allow them to tell their story.

Put it to the test. Next time you’re in a social situation, do all the talking and see what happens. Then, switch to a different group and start asking questions and start listening. Pull the story out of them and you’ll see a big difference.

This isn’t to say that what’s happening in your life doesn’t matter. But if your goal is to win people’s trust, make them want to know more about you, and in the process become more interesting (and dare I say “popular”) – then start asking questions.

Obviously life isn’t a popularity contest, but we all want to be respected and valued. As Norman Vincent Peale said many years ago, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” People are longing to share their lives with others, and by asking questions instead of doing all the talking yourself, you’re allowing them to do exactly that.

Few things will make you more interesting in the eyes of other people!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • So true. Instead of trying so hard to be interesting, best to be interested. Great advice!

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  • Don Seitz

    I have learned to read both the audience and myself. When I find that I am talking to much about myself I start to look inward and ask myself “What’s wrong – why am I feeling the need to speak in paragraphs when one word will do?” I always find the truth, and correct my thinking and reboot. Its way too easy for our daily life to knock us down. During my 20 years of constant travel the one thing that impressed me most was no matter how bad and dreary the weather is down on earth, when the plane climbs into the sky you will see that the sun always shines and its beautiful way up there. Keep our mind on heavenly things and the sun (Son) will shine a light into your heart. I loved the old Hollywood black and white pictures, they always looked so bright and sunny. In the dark night of the soul, a little sunshine can lift us up and carry us forward.

  • Blake Henry

    Great article. It reminds me of this passage in Proverbs 17:

    (NKJV Strong’s) 27 He who has knowledge spares his words,
    And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.
    28 Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace;
    When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.