My wife Kathleen and I had the opportunity to meet with Tina Konkin recently. She’s an internationally known speaker, counselor, and coach on the subject of relationships. As a result, she’s been on major networks, spoken at national conferences, and helped thousands of couples heal broken relationships. We were discussing some potential television projects with Tina, when she said something that I realized applies to so many other areas of life – including
In many ways, the most important advantage a person has in the workplace are relationships. In the past, “networking” was about taking advantage – what other people can do for me. But today, networking is about helping other people because it’s the right thing to do. Whether you believe in God, Karma, or random chance, the truth is, when you help others achieve their dreams, they can help you achieve yours. But when it comes to the mentors and allies you have at work, here some important principles to remember:
Since in today’s secular culture, the concept of “morality” is outdated, it’s interesting to see the incredible effort that’s being put into finding a substitute. Enter the Affirmative Consent Project. In an effort to defeat the supposed “rape culture” on U.S. college campuses, this organization is suggesting couples in love should have a contract. Among other things, they suggest the couple take a selfie to document their decision to hook up – just in case you get into court later. After all, if personal morality doesn’t exist, how else do we protect women?
Remember the movie “The Bucket List?” It’s the story of two terminally ill friends who sneak out of a cancer ward for a road trip to see a list of things and places before they die. That movie mostly focused on locations, but the truth is, a better bucket list would be of people to see before the end of your life. Who would be on that
The biography you write for your various social media platforms is critical for connecting you with people. In many cases, you don’t have much space, and with platforms like Twitter, an intriguing bio is one of the top reasons people decide to follow you. And yet, most people put very little thought into a good social media bio. Here’s some key suggestions:
I’m embarrassed to say that it’s taken me most of my life to understand this, but it’s true. Except in very rare situations, giving people advice who haven’t asked for it just doesn’t work – no matter how noble your intentions. In fact, they will often be offended and your very relationship can be damaged. When my daughters were growing up I would see them making a mistake and offer my advice. Did they take it? Rarely. More often than not, they were offended. My wife Kathleen was the same way. Unsolicited advice almost always seems judgmental and is therefore unappreciated. So after a lot of fiery darts being flung my way, here’s a few things I’ve learned:
In my twenties I was working for a production company that created prime time TV specials. You find out pretty quick with network television that deadlines matter. You simply don’t miss them or you’re out of a job. As a result, I spent a lot of time back then pulling all-nighters, editing shows that had to get out. I thought I’d get some sympathy from my wife (then my girlfriend) and my other friends by droning on and on about being up all night, not getting any sleep, and how tired I was. Guess what?
When it comes to networking, I’m a big believer. The simple truth is that people enjoy working with other people they know and like. But meeting important or influential people in your field is difficult, and when the opportunity comes, it’s tough knowing how to act. I used to worry about finding the balance between being perceived as a stalker or being perceived as uninterested. At parties, conference, or other events, I really struggled with how to conduct myself with a VIP that I really wanted to meet. If you ever find yourself in that situation, here’s a few tips that can make a real difference: